*Update since original post date: Rick Perry, age 66 at the time of his appearance on DWTS, made it to night number 3. Way to go, Mr. Perry. You made Texas Over Fifty look pretty dadgum good.*
Last season, I vowed that I was done with Dancing with the Stars. But tonight I can’t remember why.
The very kind man who married me would not want the world to know that he’s watched the previous 22 seasons of DWTS with me, so don’t tell him I told you.
Sometimes he actually gets into it even a little more than I do. He watches, then blurts out his own critiques to the point that he totally forgets where he is and that he has absolutely no credentials to back up what he just said.
Like he knows a diddly squat thing about dancing? We both made C’s in our college western dance class. I think I could’ve pulled a B if I could have danced with someone who had smaller feet than his size 13’s.
But, here’s the thing.
Rick Perry, past governor of the Lone Star State, the man who graciously shook my hand at a Chamber of Commerce banquet in Muleshoe, the man who wears cute glasses and who used to live down the street from me in that gorgeous white home on Congress Avenue in Austin, is a contestant.
But, wait.
I told myself (after last season) that I was not going to spend any more precious hours watching a whole season of TV that wasn’t making me into a sharper, smarter, savvier person.
At least, I think that’s what I said.
However, now that the lineup for Dancing With the Stars has been announced, my memory has become a little on the side of foggy.
And Maureen McCormick!!!! Marcia, Marcia, Marcia is also a contestant?
For crying out loud, I have to watch.
I just have to.
Going Back on My Word
That means that I have to go back on my word. As much as it pains me, that’s what must be done.
I’ll have to DVR the whole season. Then I’ll talk about it, think about it, and berate myself for spending 2 hours every Monday night on something that doesn’t increase my intelligence one single, solitary i-o-t-a.
“That’s two hours of my life I’ll never get back,” I can already hear myself say.
And yet, every week, I’ll faithfully go to my Monday church meeting drive home at the speed of James Hinchcliffe so I can watch the night’s recorded episode with my man.
We’ll root for our former Texas governor, we’ll cheer for “Marcia Brady,” and we’ll critique all those dancers to our amateur hearts’ content.
My favorite dancer from this show is, and will always be, Derek Hough – but Mike, for some reason, seems a little perturbed that Derek’s sister, Julianne, is a judge. He finds her a little (okay, a lot) off-putting.
Actually, I’m not sure why his feelings are so insistent. Furthermore, I may never really get an answer, because he mostly utters unintelligible when I ask him to explain.
I mean, Julianne is cute and blonde and all kinds of whatnot, but my decisive husband just can’t seem to muster up liking the poor little, talented, graceful thing.
At the start of tonight’s episode, he actually said, “I haven’t missed her.” As in, oh, crud, I forgot she was a judge.
I glanced across the couch at him with that “are you for real right now” look. Good grief, I was thinking. Isn’t that a little strong? Maybe a touch too testy?
My man then did what he always does when he knows he’s gone too far for me to just to let it lie.
He looked straight ahead and delivered a hilarious one-liner.
“She probably didn’t miss me either.”
Oh, my goodness. My guy makes me laugh so hard.
Rising to the Occasion
There’s a chance I won’t watch the entire season, because, really, they do go way overboard in all kinds of inappropriate ways. But as long as at least one of the Over-fiftyers is still in the running for the coveted mirror ball, I’ll probably stay glued to the screen.
Because, let’s think about this.
Isn’t it so inspiring to watch one of our own get out there and rise to this kind of occasion? Isn’t it good for us all that the one is willing to take such an uncomfortable risk?
Goodness, if DWTS calls me tomorrow and offers me a spot on a season, as intentionally adventurous as I am and preach for others to be, I will turn them down f-l-a-t.
I just ain’t doin’ it. For any amount of money. (I think.)
Settling for Something Less
However, I’m very happy to settle for something slightly less.
Like being inspired to follow in other dancers’ quick and measured footsteps.
Perhaps, after all these seasons, my man and I will have learned something or challenged ourselves in a new way.
Maybe watching other Over-fiftyers stretch out of their comfort zone will inspire us enough to scoot ourselves around the floor at Billy Bob’s in Fort Worth or in Austin at the Broken Spoke.
I only hope Julianne Hough never sees us.
You go, Rick Perry.
You go, Mr. Former Texas Governor, Rick Perry. We totally applaud you for strutting your Over-fifty stuff under the bright lights at Dancing With the Stars.
You go, Marcia, Marcia, Marcia, Marilu Henner and Babyface, too!
Over-fiftyers everywhere are judging – and we give you each of you a great big 10.
If you secretly have hopes of looking like the crew from DWTS, you might want to try a workout video in the privacy of your own living room. However, take it from someone who knows. Go slow. You don’t want to get something out o’ whack.
I may or may not know this from personal experience.
Check out some info about Marilu Henner’s amazing memory and tips for improving your own here.
Encouraging a life filled with everyday intentional adventure that could easily include a little boot-scootin’ around a Texas dance floor,
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4 Perfect Planners for Men
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